“Happy birthday to me,” I grumbled at the close of my 41st birthday. During the afternoon and evening I’d had two separate unpleasant encounters on an online dating site. Being single when you don’t want to be is hard enough, but having to come face to face with unseemly behavior on your birthday seemed extra unfair and discouraging.

I wanted to give up. Maybe there was no one out there for me and I needed to stop hoping to find love and commitment.

I wasn’t a stranger to online dating. I’d been trying it off and on for twelve years. During that time I’d met some great guys and even made a friend or two, but none of them had turned out to be The One. I’d also run into plenty of guys who ghosted me or had otherwise taken themselves out of the running, but my birthday was the first time I’d run into truly predatory behavior. I was weary. Each time I made a new match, my first thought was, “How soon will this one go away?”

All those years ago I’d felt led to try online dating, and I had done it prayerfully and with great consideration at each step. I’d always exercised caution and would only talk to men who could tell me without hesitation that Jesus Christ was their Lord and Savior. But the pickings were slim and I was ready to throw in the towel. However, since I’d felt God leading me into it, I knew I shouldn’t quit unless I was equally as sure that’s what He wanted me to do.

I prayed about it. I told the Lord I wanted to be done.

He didn’t answer. I felt no leanings either way, and since I had no peace to delete the apps I heaved a sigh and thought, “Fine. I’ll keep going.”

One week after my birthday, I was looking through profiles and came across one that was kind of sparse but did mention being a Christian. As I pressed the Like button, I said to myself, “This guy looks kind of goofy, but we’ll see what happens.”

Famous last words. 😂

About ten minutes later I received a notification that Joel had liked me back, and in less than an hour I was hanging up from our first phone call with a very distinct impression: “I think this might be the man that God has been preparing me for.” Four hours away, Joel was having similar thoughts about me!

I’m so glad I didn’t give up. I’m so glad I took my weariness to the Lord and let Him direct my steps, even though He didn’t give me the answer that I wanted. If I’d followed what I wanted to do, I would have missed a tremendous blessing and the wonderful adventure of love, commitment, and newlywed bliss that has come to me this year.

I’m excited to tell you more about how the Lord led us from first Like to the marriage altar, but I can’t close this post without a reminder that if you are in a place where you want to give up in something you feel God has led you to, make sure you ask Him what His plans are. I do believe sometimes stepping back from something is His will. But I also know from this and other experiences that sometimes when He tells you to keep going it’s because some of the biggest and happiest moments of your life are just around the corner. Trust Him. He is not going to lead you wrong.

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Image by Sonja Keller from Pixabay